Reflecting

If I sit and look at this picture too long I start to get a little verklempt. Violet was 15 months old and Hazel was 1 week old, and at that time I was knee deep in dirty diapers and post partum sleep deprived delirium and all that implies, and I know I thought this picture was a sweet picture, and may have even teared up a little bit. But now, almost 5 years later, when I look at it a physical lump gathers in my chest and and my eyes start to sting.
I heard, as many parents of small children hear, "this time goes by so fast", "cherish this time when they're young, you'll miss it", "write it down, you will forget", " You'll turn around and they are in kindgergarten, or college, or getting married". So you try to breath it all in, soak it all up, and log it all into a memory bank by writing it all down and recording it on video. But somewhere in the middle of nursing, potty training, and doctors visits they grow up and you weren't paying attention, at least not as much as those people who warned you said you should. So now I have a 4 and almost 6 year old, and I am already reminiscing about the "olden days" when I had soft, sweet, poopy, lap size babies who didn't have opinions.
Don't get me wrong, I love this age. The brain is exploding with new information and the conversations are getting more interesting. We are on the brink of readinig, and all day school, and swimming lessons, it's exciting and unknown. But right now I am looking at this picture wondering how I could have preserved my memories better and how in the world am I going to handle high school graduation with out melting into a pile of mush.